Anak - Nyanyian Freddy Aguilar sekitar 80an .

Semasa engkau dilahirkan
Kau pun sudah satu impian
Impian nyata kurnia Illahi

Engkau anak istimewa
Kebahagian ibu ayah
Bila menangis dan juga tertawa

Hai anak kau tak mengerti
Betapa mulia pengorbanan mereka
Memberikan kasih-sayang
Agar dapat menikmati dunia

Masa silih berganti
Kau membesar tak dikenali
Cepat sungguh kau pandai bicara

Apa yang telah terjadi
Pada mereka kau derhaka
Mengapa begitu apakah salahnya

Hai anak kau tak mengerti
Betapa mulia pengorbanan mereka
Memberikan kasih-sayang
Agar dapat menikmati dunia

Kini kau telah tersesat
Hilang diri dan pedoman
Tak seorang pun mengambil peduli

Dan kini engkau menangis
Ibu ayah menghampiri
Walau engkau telah terpesong jauh

Hai anak kau tak mengerti
Betapa mulia pengorbanan mereka
Memberikan kasih-sayang
Agar dapat menikmati dunia

Hai anak kau tak mengerti
Betapa mulia pengorbanan mereka
Memberikan kasih-sayang
Agar dapat menikmati dunia

arinTaker
20 April 2010
5.03 pm

Adakah masa yang mementingkan diri? atau aku yang tidak menginsafi?

hujan pun mengerti
bila masa sepatutnya berhenti
membawa pergi bah yang melanda bumi

aku pula masih begini
sendiri tidak pasti
sedang hari semakin pergi
adakah aku masih tidak memaafi?

masa datang masa jua pergi
samada aku mahu ataupun benci
tidak pernah masa itu hiraukan

aku lupa untuk melupakan
walau aku sudah memaafkan
aku jarakkan kenangan dari perbuatan
agar aku tidak lagi dilukakan

adakah masa yang mementingkan diri?
atau aku yang tidak menginsafi?

adakah aku lupa untuk menghilangkan
luka dan guris di hatiku?
mungkin jua aku yang tidak mampu
untuk meletak ke tepi semua itu?

aku bagai tak memahami
adakah ini dendam yang berlurah dihati?

walau masa datang untuk mengingatkan
bahawa aku harus segera melupakan
sering aku tertinggal di belakang
ditakutkan masa silam yang kerap datang
dalam mimpi yang kesiangan

bukan aku tak mahu
cuma aku belum mampu

sudah aku maafkan
namun aku masih takutkan

aku tidak lagi berdendam
namun serik menjadi beban

arinTaker
27 Januari 2010
11.31 pm

A true stOry: Single parent… very tOuching sey! (T_T)

A story worth sharing ... it will touch the heart of every man and woman with family...

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. That is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftover, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket!

Boy, I was mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation: "Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep.

Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'.

But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. Its winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control.

Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was: The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: "But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: "I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say... I told my son, "Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn’t help opening the letter before they turn to ash. And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again.

Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.

Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think.

But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appeared?

After reading the letter, I can’t stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

Regards,

arinTaker

13 Dicember 2009

12.14 am

Sajak daripada orang - orang

Aku dijadikan Orang - Orang,

Diberi pakaian seperti Orang,

Tugasku menghalau pipit di bendang.

Pipit lari Orang berasa senang,

Tapi aku tetap menjadi hamba Orang,

Beginikah aku selamanya?

Menjadi hamba demi kepentingan Orang.

arinTaker

2000

Hutang ku kpd PTPTN hampir mencecah RM30 ribu. Kpd siapa aku patut berterima kasih???

Terlebih dahulu aku ingin memanjatkn kesyukuran kehadrat Allah S.W.T krn dgn izinnya aku tlh berjaya menamatkan pelajaran di dlm bidang DiplOma Pengurusan Perkhidmatan Makanan dan Ijazah Sarjana Muda (Kepujian) Pengurusan Perkhidmatan Makanan di UiTM.

Yup! sapa sangka bdk yg malas ke sekOlah semasa berada di darjah 2 dan 3 berjaya akhirnya. Semasa berada di darjah tersebut. Periksa tOksah citer r dpt nmbr cOrOt je. Tak dpt nmbr 4 atau 3 dr belakang bkn aku lah namanya tu. Tp itu dulu. Dulu x sama mcm skrg. Aku dh berjaya menggenggam segulung diplOma dan ijazah buat menebus dOsa silam. Tmbh manis apabila aku diiktiraf sbg “Best Student” buat 2x berturut-turut. 1x semasa diplOma dan 1x semasa Ijazah. Org lain dpt apa?

Tp bkn ini yang aku nk berkOngsi cerita dgn kOrg sume. Bab jatuh bangun aku sbg seOrg manusia akn aku citer dlm episod lain. Episod kali ni aku nk citer pasal: Hutang ku kpd PTPTN hampir mencecah RM30 ribu. Kpd siapa aku patut berterima kasih???

… Namun begitu aku juga mambawa satu legasi hutang yang menggunung untuk di bayar blk. Hampir RM 30 ribu bkn lah satu angka yg kecil beb! Kata Org “pandai pinjam pandai lah pulangkn”. Jadi itulah yg sdg aku berperang skrg. Bkn berperang mengangkat senjata. Tp berperang dgn hutang ciptaan kerajaan. Ratusan ribu graduan spt aku sdg berperang bersama-sama ku. Perang yg entah bila akn tamatnya… mungkin sesetengah antara kami yg meminjam utk melanjutkn pelajaran di peringkat pengajian tinggi sehingga pencen pOn x hbs byr lg. Bg yg bernasib baik dtg dr gOlOngan berada atau mendapat pekerjaan yang setimpal dgn gaji lain ceritanya. Bagi yg masih x dapat peluang pekerjaan lg, aku pOn x tau nk citer mcm mana. Namun kpd siapa aku patut berterima kasih???

Datang dr latar belakang keluarga yg bOleh dianggap hidup sederhana bukan lah sesuatu yg bOleh dibanggakan. Bygkn pula mereka yang dtg dr keluarga yg miskin. Yg dtg dr keluarga berada tp gatai nk meminjam lain citer. Mendapat berita permOhOnan ke IPTA berjaya siapa x suke? Tp dr mana nk dikumpulkn sumber kewangan buat menampung kOs pengajian? Jln termudah PTPTN lah jwpnya. Apa lg pilihan yg ada??? Namun kpd siapa aku patut berterima kasih???

Mak bapak cOmpem x mampu nk membantu. Nk salahkn mereka ker krn x mampu membiayai aku? Yg nk smbg belajar aku bkn mereka. Mereka nk je tgk anak2 mereka berjaya. Tp duit xda. Herm… maka terpaksa lah aku mengikat perjanjian dgn PTPTN Or sOme say PTPTipu sbg jalan mudah dan pintas utk mendapatkn wang (M’sia) atau uang (IndOn). KalO x tOksah bermimpi di siang hari nk p smbg belajar kalO xda duit.

Setelah 2 thn lbh aku menamatkan pengajian dan sdh mendapat pekerjaan yg di idamkan. Pekerjaan je la yg di idamkn. Gaji x setimpal langsung dgn kelayakan yg aku ada. Aku msh mencari kekuatan utk membayar semula sgla hutang-piutang tersebut. Dgn membayar RM100 sebln kpd PTPTN blm ditOlak kOs perkhidmatan. Brpe sbnrnya yg aku byr dan brpe lama lg tempOh yg aku ada sblm aku hbs berhutang? Ye mgkn aku slh sOrg diantara ratusan ribu lepasan graduan yg sampai pencen pOn x hbs byr. Tu blm dikira kalO nk amik kete + umh + kawin = nk mkn ape? Nasib baik aku xda 3 benda tersebut. Xda pOn dh cukup pening. KalO ada slh 1 pening giler. KalO ada kesemuanya pening giler babi. Org lain peduli apa?

Namun strategi harus disusun… pekerjaan baru msti dicari... kete + umh + kawin msti dimiliki. 4 thn lg atau kurang msti ada ketiga-tiga nie. Xkn nk gigit jari? Byr kpd PTPTN msti digandakan lagi. InsyaAllah semuanya bakal menjadi realiti. X kn nk berpeluk tubuh? Bersetubuh lg la di haramkan.

Kekdg aku terpikir gak… melihat saudara-mara dan rakan taulan yg belajar x seberapa tp ada yg dh berkawin dan dh memiliki itu ini. Aku ni yg berpelajaran tinggi tp x kawin2 lg. Ye la hutang pOn tinggi. Mereka yg berpelajaran rendah hutang pOn rendah. cOmpem2 x pening nk byr PTPTN. Duit gaji dOrg dh bOleh salurkn ke lain. Duit gaji aku salurkn ke PTPTN.

Aku percaya di luar sana maha ramai lg yg menghadapi mslh yg sama atau lbh teruk lg. Tp apa bOleh buat? kita tlh menjadi generasi cerdik pandai yg berhutang. Generasi ini akn berterusan, yg akn menyebabkn kita tidak akn kesunyian krn mempunyai generasi lapisan.

Sekali lagi aku memanjatkan kesyukuran kpd Allah S.W.T krn aku masih lg mampu membyr balik kpd PTPTN scra kecil2an dan msh cukup mkn tika ada yg msh x dpt pekerjaan.

… Jesteru kpd siapa patut aku & engkau berterima kasih???
A) Diri sdri
B) Mak bapak
C) Kerajaan (PTPTN)


arinTaker
13 Julai 2009